I celebrated my 2011 birthday on November 21st. I felt good reading through the birthday greetings of family and friends on my facebook and on also on my inbox. Two people greeted me Happy 21st. Ahh... I wish I could always stay as 21. However this is far, far away from reality. As years go by, I grow older and older. My hair declares it. With each passing year I know my head will soon be grey. My siblings were so concerned about my greying hair. They said it’s time to dye it. A lady doctor with whom I worked occasionally at the Outpatient, Blacktown Hospital when I was still working even prescribed to me a type of dye that is non- allergenic, ie after I told her I have strong reservation in dyeing my hair because of my allergenic makeup, so to speak. A young doctor friend prescribed to me a hair dye of plant origin called Henna which Indians normally use to colour their hair.
I have not taken on board any of these suggestions. Part of me is saying I could not wait till I turn 60. If my hair is coloured, how would I look like 60? With a few strands of grey hair, two young men had even given up their seats for me in the train and in the bus. When they did, however, I grieved a little bit inside: My, am I too old now to be given this kind of chivalry? I never had this experienced since I came to Australia. At the same time, however, I felt glad because of the comfort of commuting being seated rather than standing.
Why do I want to be 60? Simple, I will be officially a holder of a senior’s card. What’s the big deal about it? Technically, I could avail of all the discounts a senior’s card holder is entitled to. On the second thought, I told myself, Why, i could always use my mother’s senior card anyway as she is always with me whenever I go shopping..
Ageing is inevitable as the years go by. It is a normal course of life. I told to myself—black or grey—I should love myself just the way I am. I should not worry too much about my hair colour more than I should about my health. When I read through all the signs of ageing in medical terms from the organismic level down to the cellular and molecular levels, whoa, I worry somehow. I could not imagine being in the hospital treated for complications of diabetes which I now have or for a possible stroke or heart attack or a fall. I am scared to death to go to a hospital.
I could see some signs of deterioration. I spilled grains of coffee on the table. Whenever I do, I told my mother. My! I am growing older. All the years I worked in the laboratory I never had any chemical spillage or glassware breakages. NEVER! Everything was perfect. My supervisor even commended me for this. I had perfect muscle coordination. I could even dissect out without the aid of the microscope organs of insects. Now, I am like you and Father when he was still alive.
What could I do? Nothing, except to accept the fact that everybody grows old, older and older as years go by. So I would not feel too bad and disappointed about ageing, all I have to do is to think about its positives. For me, it means slowing down and having more time to relax, to sit under the sun and watch life go by. I was once young and full of energy. I worked very hard to achieve the state I am now in. I would not like to go back and be 21 again. My! What was I doing when I was 21? Struggling very hard to establish a career! Endlessly studying to earn more university degrees and earn a promotion at work. Yes I worked day and night. I did not even had time to watch TV or go to a theatre, that sometimes people regarded me as coming from another planet, not knowing the names and faces of famous celebrities in the world of cinema and popular music. I always tell my mother, I couldn’t imagine staying up to watch TV. I had never done this in my whole life until now. That’s why when I was talking to a 21 year old friend who wanted to be 16 again. I strongly told her, not for me! I would not like to take again all those school examinations. I do not like to have nightmares of failing my mathematics or physics examinations. I am finished with all these.
Furthermore, rather than worry about the greying of my hair or the lines on my forehead and the wrinkles on my hands, I thought I should concentrate on successful ageing. That is, to stay as healthy as possible by eating well and doing a bit of exercise and at the same time exercising and sharpening still further my cognitive functions. Needless to say, I should also maintain a healthy relationship between God and myself, as well as others.
The above I know is easier said than done. However, it is worth a try by discipline, determination and dependence on the grace of God.
