I went out in the sun to think my thoughts out....My gazed turned into the creeping roses that needed pruning so I took out the kitchen ladder and started pruning it with the new 9" pruner which Brett and I got from Park Lea Market this morning.
I took my time doing this and sat on our old garden furniture to take breaks in doing this. After finishing, I was happy with my work done. At least I could see better the yellow blooms of my tree on the other side of the lattice.
Then my eyes caught sight of the chrysanthemums which Merle gave our mother during the past two mother's day and which I transplanted in pots. They have grown taller and wider but I nearly lost them because of snail infestation. After I handpicked the tiny snails chewing on the leaves and tread them under my feet, the plants flourished and have numerous buds now. I checked again if there were still snails because some of their leaves were wilting. I found a few which I removed. I also removed all the dried leaves for them to look nicer.
I felt sad while I was doing this because it had been quite sometime that I could not even take my Mum in the extension and the backyard. I had not dared to do this because I might not be able to manage taking her down and up the steps.
She has always loved being out in the garden so, I had just been sitting her in the verandah since February. As she is having difficulty standing up recently, however, I have just been sitting her in her special chair near the window where she could still look at summer blooms in the garden which she enjoys and keeps her awake also.
Last Thursday late afternoon, however, she could not get up from that chair by the window. We struggled hour after hour but she could not stand up even a bit that made it difficult for me to lift her. Not wanting her to remain in a distressed state, I called my siblings. I called Daisy first. Knowing she was not working Tuesday to Thursday, I thought it easier to ask her to come over. I called but no answer. I called Merle but she would not able to drive over as her husband who was visiting his dad in the nursing home got the car. I could not call Cyn as she disconnected from 3 phone due to unsatisfactory service. However, Cyn called me later. She was food shopping with her husband. As the network was bad, she said she would call me as soon as she gets home. I could call Art, but he just had an operation.
I talked to Mum and persuaded her to try to stand up a bit for me not to have to carry her whole body weight. After many attempts, we were able to stand her up. After dinner, the same problem arose. Cyn rang and asked if they needed to drive over.
As it was getting late and starting to rain and not wanting to inconvenience both Cyn and Rene who had to leave for work the following morning, I gathered all my strength so I could lift Mum. I was able to put Mum to bed, but unfortunately hurt my back in the process. Not a wise move, I know. I do not have regrets but am hopeful to feel better, having taken pain killer and have been resting as Mum is with Merle now and later with Daisy.
Now, I am anxious, however, I won't be able to look after her without hurting my back more. Art said he and H.ilda would come over during weekdays to help me. Cyn volunteered to look after our mother throughout her three week holiday this April to give my back a rest and save it from further injury.
As I sat out in the sun, I had been thinking however, along the lines of a long-term solution. I know that it will be harder and harder on my own to to look after Mum who is turning 89 this October. ..
I already text Daisy this afternoon to help us get further appropriate disability aids. She should know what Mum would need as she works in an aged care facility. I am also thinking of buying a queen bed to put in the extension for Art and Hilda to use and whoever among my siblings would come to help, so they do not have to travel back and forth so much. I'll see how we all go from here.
As I already told my siblings, we do not like to put Mum in the nursing home now--as much as possible. We have survived and done well since her heart failure in 2009. She only has got a short term memory loss, if not mild dementia. We do not want to break her heart and feel sad and alone after dinner time. We do not like her to ask while lying down in bed hoping to get some sleep..."Why am I here and not in any of my children's house?"
In my house, after dinner time is the most enjoyable time for Mum--we watch TV together while eating her favourite cashew nuts. I also give her treats (ice cream, bread with Nutella which she loves, if not the healthy cereal with So Good milk) during supper (two or three times depending on her blood sugar level). I think this is okay as I do not want to wake up and panic to find the blood sugar level drop during her sleep.
My immediate concern now is for her to see and enjoy the Chrysanthemums which are ready to burst into yellow and pink blooms this coming Mother's Day.
I won't be able to take her out in the backyard as I used to do, but with my siblings there on that day, she'll be able to go out in the garden and admire the splash of colours--hoping this will lift her spirit up.
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| The transplanted Chrysanthemums my mother got from Merle during 2011 and 2012 Mother's day |
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| One of the Chrysanthemums now with many buds |
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