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| I took this photo in a nearby reserve where I live. I like the textures,&colours and the bare trees |
Every time I see bare trees. I feel like something that connects me to them. I enjoy the sight of them, but at the same time I feel a certain cocktail of emotions running through my bloodstream...
Trees talk to me. That's why the first thing that attracted me to buy my house was the many trees in the property---really huge trees.
In the front yard of my house stands a jacaranda tree which is deciduous dropping off their leaves only to re-leaf again. The amazing thing about this tree is it gives purple blooms when my birthday is around the corner. I always look with eager anticipation when my jacaranda tree blooms because it showers my yard with its florets which spread like a purple carpet in my lawn. I always think that it is God's way of telling me in a special way---"Happy Birthday! I hope you'll enjoy your day. Stop being melancholic! However, I must have made you that way! Just love yourself---just as I love you! That's why I sent Jesus to give you eternal life and also abundant life. Whatever happens always remember that my love for you is matchless."
Soon it is going to be my birthday. Instead of being happy as I used to be, I feel within me this certain sadness. I ask, is it because I am now alone most of the time?
I stared at the jacaranda tree swaying with the breeze. Funny, but it could not give me a word.
My mother has not been around now for over two years. BCG, who was supposed to be with me, has technically walked out of my life right after my mother passed away. Maybe, because I did not ask him to live in my house. Maybe...because we should have been together, shouldn't we? However, I was scared. Also, because God seemed to be telling me--No.
Yes he did come every now and then--but he has always been like far away. I felt like we were not connecting and it was not definitely working out. Was it because of my fault--just like what he had always said?
I know I have always been faithful to him since day 1 and by intuition I know that he is having a string of women.
God knows who has sinned in this relationship, anyway.
